 Can a person be fully themselves and also yield to the will of God? That’s the question I pondered as I reflected on my weekend. Anyone who has talked with me for more than five minutes knows that I am an avid sailor. I love sailing, but I am most passionate about sailboat racing. During the summer and late fall, I will be out racing sailboats on Lake Michigan on Wednesday evenings as a crew member and on Sunday mornings as a skipper. Last Sunday was a gorgeous day to sail, with 70-degree temperatures and moderate winds. The sky was dark blue with wispy clouds. The seas were calm and I could see the sun refract on the waves, breaking into hundreds of sparkling rays on the deep blue water. I had a good day racing, placing first in four races and second in one. Now, I will be the first to say that to win a sailboat race you need a fast boat, an able crew, and an experienced skipper. This Sunday all three came together, which accounts for the results. I’ve noticed that my Sunday nights and Monday mornings pretty much track how my weekend race results turn out. If I’ve done well, I feel buoyant. If I didn’t do well, I can get rather crabby and down on myself. As I thought about this roller-coaster disposition I realized that it points to a person who is focused on themselves and not necessarily on God. That was not easy to accept because my most constant prayer is this: “Lord, I surrender to your will.” Someone who truly yields to the will of God wouldn’t be so mercurial in their temperament depending on the results of a sailboat race. And so, I prayed for guidance on this; not so much for forgiveness but for understanding. The Quakers have a long-standing exercise in which we ask God to search our hearts for places of growth and to provide us insight on how to best understand what comes up. I am happy to share with you my understanding so far. If we use Jesus as the example, we find that he was fully himself and yet he was fully connected to God the Father. He says multiple times that “the father is in me and I am in him.” If we surrender to God and truly endeavor to yield to his will, then there is no separation between God and us. There is no separation between our intention to do the will of God and his acceptance of our intent; no matter how weak and fallible we may be in the execution of our will to serve. The idea is not to submerge ourselves and take on a false persona of humility. The idea is to be fully alive in God and to experience both God and the world as the unique human beings that we were created to be. The key is where we place our focus. If our focus is on ourselves, then our hearts and our interest is clear: it is “all about me.” But if our focus is on God and we yield sincerely to his will, then we can appreciate and celebrate how God uses our uniqueness as an expression of his love to accomplish his kingdom here on earth. So, the short answer thus far is this: Don’t focus on yourself, focus instead on God working through you. And then, just sit back and enjoy the ride.
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 The new HBO series Westworld is an apt metaphor for our society today, but also provokes a moral dilemma. First, some background on the TV show. The premise of the series is that guests pay big dollars to attend an 1800’s era western theme park where they are encouraged to live out their fantasies. The theme park is populated with life-like androids whose sole purpose is to provide pleasure for the paying guests. The implicit understanding in the park is that it is acceptable for the guests to have sex with or to rape, abuse, torture or kill the androids because – after all – the androids are not human. I must admit that I was originally seduced by this show. I found myself rooting for the androids, especially when it appeared they were showing signs of increased consciousness. But as I thought more deeply about what was on the screen, I became increasingly concerned over the show’s promotion of the ethic that abuse can be tolerated if the object of the abuse isn’t considered human. And that is where the show and reality begin to merge uncomfortably. The presidential election has born its fair share of intolerance against religious beliefs, minorities, people with disabilities, and women. I wrote previously about the plot to kill Muslims in Kansas, a poignant example of what can happen when we routinely treat others as less than human. Social media is rife with derogatory and demeaning posts, especially during this election season. Given all of these examples, it becomes pretty easy to see how intolerance appears pervasive and how one can become numb to it. And it is that numbness against which we need to be vigilant. It is relatively easy for us to stand up against obvious abuse; to lend our voice to whatever is the cause of the day. But it is that oozing, seeping, cultural creep in which our values of inclusion can erode without our knowledge. For me, the Westworld show provided an “ah-ha” moment. I’m not on a crusade against the series. I enjoyed the show and thought it was clever until I woke up to the broader implications of what I was watching. And I guess that is the point. We absorb the culture around us and if that culture is permeated with examples of obvious and implicit intolerance, then we run the risk of becoming immune to it. The subtle culture of intolerance that I’m describing is similar to the idea of white privilege. Until it is pointed out to you; until you ponder and acknowledge it; you have no real understanding of how it impacts your day to day encounters. One solution is to just become aware of how caustic the environment can get around us and to guard against allowing that to creep into our value system. The tougher job is to pledge to point out intolerance speech and behavior whenever you see it. This can be done in a way that is – itself - not intolerant. For example, one could say: “I understand that may be how you feel, but it can be seen as hurtful to others. Is there another way you can express your concerns?” The real solution is this: The Quakers believe that there is “that of God” in each of us. Our job is to treat each person with that tender regard.  I’m not exactly sure why, but the plot uncovered recently to bomb a Muslim apartment complex and mosque in Kansas has deeply disturbed me. It’s not just about the plan to kill hundreds of people. I think what disturbs me most is the level of hatred. One of the suspects is alleged to have said that they were going to leave no one behind, even if it meant killing infant children. The actual quote about killing Muslim babies was: “I’m serious. I guarantee you if I go on a mission those little f---- are going bye bye.”
Maybe this bothers me so much because just a few weeks ago we spent a wonderful time in Oregon visiting and cooing over our three-month old granddaughter, Ava. I remember holding Ava in my arms and realizing how vulnerable she is and how much I love her and would do anything to protect her. I’m sure my feelings for Ava mirrored those of other parents and grandparents as they hold their precious children in their arms. I’m sure that’s true for Muslim parents, as well. Babies are precious. All lives are precious. The thought of someone hating a defenseless child so much that they would be willing to put a bullet in her head is beyond abhorrent to me. How does a person get to this level of hate? We aren’t born with hate in our hearts. Hate is fermented; it’s a learned behavior. We also know that hate and fear are contagious. Hate and fear feeds more hate and fear. The level of hate these men displayed certainly grew over a long period of time. I wonder if they would have turned out differently if someone had called them out on their language and their actions as they were just forming their biased beliefs. Would they be less hate filled now if people of strong values and good hearts had consistently spoken up and said to them that we don’t act that way here. We don’t talk that way about any of God’s children. We are all God’s beloved – even you are God’s beloved. We may be too late for these fellows, but perhaps not for someone around us who is just now forming an impression of how we treat those who are different from us. Maybe, if we show them our love and treat them with respect, and voice our expectations for tolerance, we won’t have to worry about Americans planning to kill Muslim babies in America in the future.  I don’t know about you, but I’m at the point of wanting to take off for a long sail to a remote island until this presidential campaign is over. No matter where one might stand on the candidates (or stand against the candidates) I don’t think many will disagree with me in saying that I’m tired of the almost hourly deluge of anger, vitriol, and vile that this campaign has wrought. This was brought home to me recently when a fond relative posted a long diatribe on Facebook, lashing out at a post from another relative. Of course, the posts were about the candidates. One relative shared a post opposing one presidential candidate and the other relative took the bait and responded. At first I was shocked, but then I was saddened knowing that the exchange I just witnessed was playing out thousands of times a day across the nation in social networks and at work or at friend and family gatherings. The problem I see is that the debate won’t end once the election is final. I don’t think this will be seen as one of those “defining elections” where people can say that the country has spoken and a mandate was given, so let’s accept the results and move on. In order to move on, each of us will need to let go of our anger and our set positions and seek a sense of what is best for the country; of what is in the best interest of the common good. I just don’t think we’re there and I’m worried about that. And so, in what has become my usual response when I wonder what to do, I used my feelings and concerns as the focus of my time for prayer and meditation. I was not so much reflecting on where we should go as a country, but on what I must do. I was examining my own shortcomings, looking at where I have contributed to the pessimism and the hostile atmosphere we are witnessing today. I must say, the response I got was completely unexpected. The image I saw during my meditation was that of the laughing Jesus and the message was this: don’t take yourself so seriously. This life is to be enjoyed. Don’t focus on your sins or your failings (because there will always be sins and failings), focus instead on the joy of life. Look for those places and times where God’s love, mercy joy and humor are apparent in your own life. I started out worrying about the direction of the country and ended up with a suggestion to seek the joy in life. This election will end and one way or another the country will survive. But to move forward, we will need to relearn how to live with each other and how to rebuild a sense of community. I have a suggestion for how to regain a sense of personal peace and of the community common good. Ask yourself these two questions at the end of each day:
If we marvel at the color of the leaves as they turn in the fall; or stand and watch the wisp of clouds glide across a cobalt blue sky, that is being touched by God. If we hold a baby and smell her sweetness or if we are given a hug from our lover, that is a gift from God. Be thankful. And then return the gift by showing love and kindness to others. That too will be a gift of God given through you. I’ve said this before because I know it to be true. Our country will change when our hearts have changed. And our hearts will change when we focus on our own thoughts, feelings and actions. I can’t control the presidential candidates. I can’t control my relatives as they spar on Facebook. But I can control how I respond to it all. And, my response will be this: I will seek to embrace the love and mercy of God every day and I will strive to show love and mercy to others – each day. The world can change, but the change must begin with me. |
AuthorMichael Soika has been a community activist for more than 30 years working on issues of social and economic justice. His work for justice is anchored by his spiritual formation first as a Catholic and now as a Quaker. Archives
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